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Category: Chasing Big Dreams

5 ways being a parent taught me to be a leader

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Family Matter’s is one of my favorite sitcoms from the 90s. The main character Steve Urkel filled the show with his unhelpful accidents, irritating snorts, and his famous “Did I do that?” The show also highlighted the Winslow family, who much like the Huxtable’s portrayed positive family values. In one episode, the mother Harriet went on a job interview and the interviewer asked her if she had supervisory experience and her response was yes, I have three children and a husband, I manage a household and it’s expenses, I cook meals, and manage several schedules! I am a leader!

Do you know you are leader? Yes, you…if you are a parent, can run a household, teach life lessons, mediate sibling rivalry, and still have something to smile about! You are a leader!

DISCLAIMER: I am not endorsing these thoughts to be used in an interview setting. These are merely my thoughts on how being a parent taught me to be a leader.

1. Know the who.

If you treat your 8-year-old like a 3-year-old it will blow up in your face like a bad science experiment. Know whom you are dealing with even adults.

2. BYOE (Bring your own energy)

Don’t let a screaming child or a difficult adult steal your energy or your joy for that matter. Bring your positive energy home and to work.

3. Manage the good.

See the good in people; it’s easy to focus on the bad parts. Write down 5 things you notice and admire about your children and your co-workers/employees.

4. Know who’s in charge.

Just as children need to be molded, corrected, and many times reeled back in, so do team members and employees. If you are in a position of leadership, use maturity and wisdom to communicate expectations.

5. Overnight Celebrity.

Embrace the process; don’t be discouraged if progress doesn’t happen overnight. Just as it takes 9 months to have a baby, it takes years to raise a child, and it also takes time to become a great and a respected leader.

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“F” it All!

Have you ever known way too much and knowing too much got in the way of moving forward?

Sometimes knowing all the risks can make you fearful and ultimately hold you hostage from getting “it” done.

When you know too much it can hold you back from moving forward, therefore you make no decisions at all. Knowing too much can rob you of fresh perspective, a new outlook, and sensible thinking.

If you knew everything about planes you might not fly. If I knew everything about food, it would probably be only a few things I would eat. If I knew the outcome of every situation I might box myself in.

so with that said, “F” IT ALL, that’s right I said it! For-get-it-all!

Forget it all.

Forget what you know.

Move on.

Move forward.

Start fresh.

Go back and work on the business plan you researched so much you talked yourself out of it. Give that relationship a second chance; it’s not too late. How many times will we talk ourselves out of our future, by going with what we think we know? Punch fear in the face and “F” it all!

“You can only be afraid of what you think you know.”
― Jiddu Krishnamu

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Thank you for telling me no

Whether you are 5 or 45, hearing no can be disappointing. As hard as some no’s can be, a no can also be a safety net. I have experienced many disappointments in relationships, my career, and through everyday life. Although disappointments can be hard, I can honestly say I am “thankful for the no’s”. 

Years ago, while working at my first job after college at a staffing agency, I experienced my first adult disappointment. This position wasn’t my ideal job, but I was content where I was. After working there for two years, I was let go, and boy was I disappointed. I hadn’t planned on retiring from the company, but I also didn’t plan on leaving so abruptly. I didn’t realize it at first, but that was a great place to insert a “thank you”. If I stayed in that position any longer I would have been off track from the larger plan set for me. Do you know how many passions or gifts were birthed out of disappointment? 

As an adult, here are three things “no” can mean: 

1. Not yet
2. Not for you
3. A safety net to save you from making a wrong move 

Parents hate telling their children no! We all like to see our children happy and satisfied, but unfortunately there are times we have to tell them no. Those reasons could be to protect them or to build character. 

Here are some healthy reasons for telling your child no: 

1. For their safety 
2. For their health 
3. For their behavior 
4. To teach them patience, boundaries, sacrifice, and discipline. 

Could those same reasons to protect or teach a child, be similar experiences to why an adult is told no in various areas of life? As adults let’s try not be like my two-year old and throw a tantrum when we experience being told no through closed doors or disappointment. Realize it’s an opportunity for building character and say “Thank you for telling me no!”

L.T.  

Creating New Possibilities Part 2: Through Faith

Hey Family! I hope you are having a great week and are “Creating Possibilities”! I want to continue my thoughts on creating new possibilities in your life, family, career, and every area of your life. If you missed last weeks introduction into “Creating New Possibilities” click here.

Think about those areas in your life where you would like to create new possibilities, some of those areas could seem totally impossible if you only rely on your abilities, know how, and resources. If I want a chance at making it happen personally, professionally, and spiritually, I have to create new possibilities through faith.

Here are some examples of what the bible says about faith and possibilities:

Hebrews 11:1 NLT

11 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Luke 8:27 NLT

27 He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.”

Luke 1:37 NLT

37 For nothing is impossible with God.[a]

Building faith is like like working out. Let’s take a look at some of the aspects of working out as they relate to our faith. Let us not be like the resolutionists (ie. A person who joins the gym in early January because of their New Years Resolution. Resolutionists can be spotted by their pasty white skin, excessive fat, poor form, and blank look on their face as they stand next to any piece of gym equipment. Resolutionists usually migrate back to the couch any time from mid-January to early March. (via urbandictionary.com)

1. Preparation. You can’t haphazardly jump into a workout regime. There is no way I can have a beach ready body by May unless I have a clear strategy to work out, such as meeting with a personal trainer or by developing a regime and healthy eating plan. It’s the same way with Faith, I have to plan to strengthen my faith, by setting a schedule for personal devotion, times of prayer, and developing a relationship with Christ.

2. Work out. How else can I see results unless I work out?! I am one of those people who wish I could just blink my eyes and have a six pack or Michelle Obama’s arms, but that’s impossible! “Faith without works is dead”. I have to be willing to put the work and effort behind my belief.

3. Believe it can really happen. As the scripture says I have to put my trust and confidence in God that what seems impossible can really come true. For over a year my church prayed and put the works behind it for a new building worth millions of dollars to be donated to us. Well this past Sunday we learned the building was in fact donated to us free and clear, at no cost to our ministry. Many people would say we were praying an impossible prayer, but look at the results of our prayer! For the full story click here.

What I am looking for in 2013 is way less than millions of dollars, so if this can happen, I have no choice than to believe! I pray your faith is boosted this year!

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For the ladies only, I am reading a great devotional called “She reads truth”. It’s a great devotion to start your day! You can download it under plans in the free youversion bible app here or you can read along and join in on the discussion on shereadstruth.com

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Have a great day!
L.T.

Creating New Possibilities: Part One

Happy New Year! I’m so amped about 2013!

I’m looking forward to change, growth, and all things new. You didn’t hear from me much in December and there is a reason behind it. It wasn’t because I was too busy or didn’t have anything to write, but taking time to grow, figuring out areas personally, and to trying to take it all in. Sometimes in life you have to take time to slow down and figure out where I’m going, what do I want, and why am I here. I realized how important my future is and I had to learn to allow myself time to grow if I wanted to continue to have value to add.

One of my personal goals for 2013 is to “Create Possibilities” for myself and through One Haute Mommi to inspire you to create new possibilities for yourselves.

Lets dig deeper into creating possibilities:

create (kriːˈeɪt)

1. to cause to come into being, as something unique that would not naturally evolve or that is not made by ordinary processes.
2. to evolve from one’s own thought or imagination, as a work of art or an invention.

possible (ˈpɒsɪb ə l)
— adj
1. capable of existing, taking place, or proving true without contravention of any natural law
2. capable of being achieved: it is not possible to finish in three weeks
3. having potential or capabilities for favourable use or development.

So my definition of creating possibilities is to cause or to do everything possible to achieve positive results in your life. There are something’s in life where you wait for things to happen and other times you have to make things happen. In 2013, I want to creatively use every resource I have to ensure I have no reason to fail.

Every year, New Year’s resolutions are made and we run into one year while crawling out of another, but this year…..vow to change something. Sure, make a list and plan out your year, but if you truly want to make progress you have to change your habits and create new possibilities that wouldn’t normally be possible unless you change some ways you operate.

Some of you may be thinking where do I start? Do you say these things to yourself?

1. I need a new career, a total life makeover, or my marriage and relationships could use direction.
2. I need a change in my life.
3. I need to find my purpose.

You are not ALONE! There millions of people asking themselves those same questions, how many of them are working hard to answer them? Stay tuned for more on “Creating Possibilities”

New Year, New Possibilities!

L.T.

What would happen if you say no to fear?

You might actually live the life you dream of.
You might inspire someone else.
You might get out of that cubicle.
You might actually fall in love.
You might actually be truly happy, joyful, and peaceful.
You might actually climb out of the box.
You might change the lives of others.
You might find your dream job.
You might adopt.
You might get married.
You might plan for the future.
You might give.
You might work really hard.
You might chase your dreams.

Removing fear isn’t a guarantee that life will be easy, but removing fear is a guarantee that you won’t stay where you are.

How many times have I let fear stop me? Fear is meant to make you feel all alone as if no one else understands you. Boy is that wrong! I understand what it feels like to be paralyzed by fear and I realized that it is far better to be scared and move forward than to be scared and remain stagnant.

Which will you choose?

L.T.

32 in 32 #2: Recognizing Grateful Moments

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This lesson brings tears to my eyes…..I am SO Blessed and I recognize that it didn’t just start now, but I can think of instance after instance where the hand of God has been instrumental in my life. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t have any problems or my life has been spotless, it simply means that through it all, it could have always been worse and I know who’s on my team. I think when most people were kids they either thought their parents were rich or middle class when in reality they were struggling.

I remember a time our gas service was shut off, I’m not sure how old I was, but I don’t recall my parents panicking. They bought a hot plate, some wood, and we spent the night toasting marshmallow’s, talking, and life went on. Without saying, I’m sure they were pretty worried, but at some point they realized that as long as we had each other and a roof over our head, everything was o.k.

That’s the same type of tenacity I want to instill in my girls, not that I want the gas or lights to be shut off, but that life won’t always be perfect and many situations will come that are uncomfortable, and the only thing you can control is how you respond. There is always someone who has a situation far worse than yours. If I continue to focus on what’s not perfect, then I won’t be grateful for what IS going right. I’ve learned it is easier to be grateful when everything is going alright, it is in the tough moments that you pretty much have to search for something to be grateful for, and those are the moments that shape your life. Be Grateful.

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”
Alphonse Karr

Take some time today to reflect on the moments of gratefulness that have shaped your life.

 

Seth Godin: The best way to get unstuck

This is outside of my 32 in 32 series, but when I read this I just had to share. Enjoy!

The best way to get unstuck by Seth Godin

Don’t wait for the right answer and the golden path to present themselves.
This is precisely why you’re stuck. Starting without seeing the end is difficult, so we often wait until we see the end, scanning relentlessly for the right way, the best way and the perfect way.
The way to get unstuck is to start down the wrong path, right now.
Step by step, page by page, interaction by interaction. As you start moving, you can’t help but improve, can’t help but incrementally find yourself getting back toward your north star.
You might not end up with perfect, but it’s significantly more valuable than being stuck.
Don’t just start. Continue. Ship. Repeat.

32 in 32: Be Yourself

The younger I get (in my mind) 🙂 the more reflective I become, and I thought what better way to kick off my birthday month than by dedicating my posts for the next few weeks to life lessons. The 32 in 32 series will focus on 32 lessons I have learned throughout my 32 years here on earth, some learned easily and others the hard way. I hope you will join me on this journey of reflection and are motivated, pushed, and changed.

Photo Credit: (keepcalmandposters.com)

Lesson #1: Be Yourself

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was a kid I was always told “BE YOURSELF”, be a leaders and not follower”,” if your friend jumped off the bridge would you do it too?”.  It was the ultimate goal of my parents to raise a responsible child that would not be influenced by her surroundings. When I was 14, I had an adult family member tease me because I spoke properly and I remember from that day on trying to alter the way I spoke because I wanted to fit in and didn’t want to take the risk of high school friends teasing me also. As I look back, I’m not afraid to say “That was stupid!” talking proper has taken me further in life than speaking slang ever has! After observing many types of people and personalities , the ones that are most successful and free are those who aren’t afraid to be themselves.

At “almost” 32 “Be Yourself” has a totally different meaning to me. In order to be myself I have to first know:

Who I am?

Where I came from?

Where I’m going?

Whose I am?

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

I don’t recall ever having to ask myself these questions in elementary school when I was thinking about whether or not to talk in class when I knew I shouldn’t. Once I understand these things I can truly be myself , choose my own path, raise my family with methods I am comfortable with, and live by the standards I accept. As an adult you grow up, but if you are not careful and don’t truly know yourself you will begin to either be jealous or follow someone else’s plan for your life.

Learning to be yourself isn’t just a lesson you learn as a child, but a lesson you must continuously learn throughout life.

How have you learned or are learning to be yourself? I would love to hear from you!