Category Archives: Chasing Big Dreams

What did we do before social media?

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(Image courtesy of Gal Appelbaum)

What did we do before social media? WE LIVED!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love social media! It keeps me connected to YOU, my friends and family. It can be a great to connect or form new business relationships. It can be inspirational, silly, or a down right distraction!

Tweet this–post that–blog about that. Picture for instagram–check in on four square– take a picture of my plate (this food looks great)–That’s cute, Put that on YouTube! That’s a good quote or scripture, let me post it.

At what point do we stop being so busy documenting life and watching the lives of others and just start living it.

The other day my husband and I went to the Mary J. Blige concert (it was awesome by the way), and a girl young lady was sitting in front of us was on her phone 90% of the time on instagram liking pics from the concert that she was attending instead of enjoying the moment.

For some people living has been replaced with social media. We don’t do things anymore for the pure enjoyment of the moment anymore, everything is about sharing. When we get a new car instead of enjoying it and driving it when we leave the dealership, we go home and take pictures to upload to social media or instead of having a real relationship with God we post scriptures and text grams of the word instead of really studying. Life is to be lived and we spend most of it talking, being social, talking about our dreams instead of working on them. Social media was created for being social but not to replace living or for validation. At the end of the day when I leave here I want a legacy to be left, what did I do while I was here, who did I help, what impact did I leave? We only got one life to live so don’t spend watching life go by.

I have definitely been guilty of this, hope this helps you as well.

The Power of Unhappiness

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“Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.”
― Oscar Wilde

What are you tired of? It could be that very thing that is pushing you closer to greatness. No one likes to feel discontent, unhappy, defeated, sadness, misery, uneasy, or dissatisfied. In fact most of us do everything in our power not to experience those feelings. As much as we don’t like it, it can be that very thing that is pushing you to the next level in your career, school, life and most of all pushing you to CHANGE.

Many businesses have been started, books written, and career changes have been attributed to discontent. Most people would never be where they are today if they never experienced some sort of disappointment or discontent. Look at Oprah, she grew up poor, raped at nine, pregnant at 14, counted out plenty of times, but look at her glory. Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper job because his boss said that he lacked imagination and good ideas (really? Walt Disney?), if he had never been fired would we know of the Disney empire today? Michael Jordan one of the greatest basketball players of all times, was cut from his High School basketball team, yet he used that discontent to work harder at his craft.

I could give you example after example of using your disappointments and discontent to your advantage and as an opportunity to push harder, do more, and take your life to the next level. My pastor always says “A setback is a setup for a comeback”! So if you are going through a tough time, don’t throw a pity party, dust yourself off and move closer to greatness.

 

 

 

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It’s ok to take a break: Focusing without neglecting

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Chasing Kids by

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Have you seen the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler? In the movie Adam Sandler is a hardworking father and husband and he is given a universal remote control which allows him to fast forward through certain moments in life such as sex, family time, and arguments, so he can get to fulfilling his career goals faster. His intentions of personal growth and creating a better life for his family were good, but in the meantime he was failing at being a husband, father, and friend, and missing out on so many valuable moments.

How many of us are guilty of this? Or know people that do this? They focus so much on their career, dreams, and providing for their family that they forget how to just LIVE. At some point we have to recommit ourselves to our spouses and families, and find some balance.

Here are a few thoughts to reflect on when you get in those busy type of situations:

1. Is what I’m focused on worth my attention?

2. Is my focus important or is it a reason to stay busy?

3. Busyness does not equal productivity.

4. Can I reschedule or hold off on what I’m doing until a later time/day?

5. It’s okay to relax and take a break, everyone including yourself will thank you!

Before I Die……

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Photo Credit: http://beforeidie.cc/

I ran across this AWESOME site! A girl named Candy in New Orleans after the loss of a friend, she began to reflect about all the things she wanted to experience in life and became interested in what others wanted to explore. She painted the side of an abandoned building in her neighborhood into a large chalkboard and stenciled Before I die I want to_________________. Now all over the world in Berlin, D.C., Dubai, New York, Milwaukee, Chicago, and the list goes on and on, chalkboard’s have gone up and people’s hopes and dreams are shared in public.

What a cool tool to find some new bucket list items that you might want to explore that you never thought of, public affirmations to get closer to completing those dreams, and for some healing and closure.

One Haute Mommi has viewers from all different walks of life, people who are living in different stages, and places…..Let’s create a virtual Before I Die board. You can post your statement in multiple ways:

1) Leave it in the comments

2) Email: onehautemommi@gmail.com (put Before I die in the subject line)

3) Via Facebook (facebook.com/onehautemommi)

4) Via Twitter (@onehautemommi)

5) Get your family and friends involved!

As I receive the statements I will post them to the site under the tab Before I die or onehautemommi.com/before-i-die-virtual-wall/ and they will all be posted anonymously.

I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, I have too much to do! I will kick it off!

Before I die I want to skydive.

Before I die I want to travel to Paris.

Before I die I want to be apart of the change in my community.

Before I die I want to run a marathon.

Before I die I want to see my daughters get married and have children.

What you got?

 

 

 

To visit a chalkboard in your area click here.

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The Road to MBA

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Chasing Kids by

Hey y’all! Thank you so much for hanging with me! Life has been sooooo crazy, with the busyness that already accompanies the summer months, Taylor graduating from Pre-K, and finishing up my graduate degree.

This has been a longgggggg road,  three years filled with late nights, long papers, and never-ending threads. In between Morgan was born and life happened. But I’m still here! I am so grateful for all of the love and support that I experienced during this time. As an adult with a family, when you make the decision to go back to school it is not only an adjustment for you, but it is one for your entire household. When I get my degree on Sunday it should read LaChaya, Darrell, Taylor, Morgan, and Bernice because they were just as responsible for my completion of this than I am, I couldn’t have made it without my TEAM.

As I get ready to pull up to graduation on Sunday, my last stop on the Road to MBA; it is really a time of reflection for me. If I could be transparent with you guys…….I am nervous! The pressure is on to use all of this information that I learned, to continue to be productive, not get too relaxed, and not to mention student loans!!!!! As fear begins to sit in…..this feeling is all too familiar, this is the same feeling of uncertainty I felt when I first made the decision to start grad school…what if I fail…….what if the work is too much, and look at me now at the end of another chapter of life. I can’t wait to experience what the next chapter holds as I chase kids and BIG dreams.

Thanks again for your support!

Solitary Solitude

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I’ve had this post in the notes section of my phone for over a week now and yesterday a blog that I read on a regular basis wrote about the same topic and it was sort of confirmation that I needed to share this with you all.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who just got out of jail, has been to jail before or ever watched the show “Lockup” on MSNBC?

It seems as if they had the most creative and insightful thoughts while in jail. They have read countless books including the entire bible, written music, poetry, and books, come up with great business ideas, and had lots of time for reflection. Yes, all of the things you and I wish we had the time to do today.

If they never had solitary solitude they would have never learned how to create make-up out of deodorant or make alcohol out of fruit, water, and bread. How creative is that! Now I’m not saying I want to go to jail, but the reason people in jail can think on a greater level is because they don’t have the type of distractions that we have. Most times when I get quiet time, I get distracted, my minds start to wonder, the TV or radio is on, I start checking emails, Facebook, Twitter, and before you know it quiet time is over and I haven’t had one creative thought.

So I realized I need to start scheduling some solitary solitude. I need to get in a space all by myself. No amenities, turn off and unplug everything and just be. I’m sure I will be surprised by the outcome and how much creativity comes out of that time.

In a quiet moment we can get an intuitive insight that can change our entire life and the lives of the people around us in incredibly positive ways.
- Elaine St.James

Check out Danielle LaPorte’s post on “What’s Your Relationship to Silence?”

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The thing about settling

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Settling is a funny thing….well not really.

Check this out:

set·tled set·tling

Definition of SETTLE

intransitive verb
1
: to come to rest
2
a : to sink gradually or to the bottom b : to become clear by the deposit of sediment or scum c : to become compact by sinking
3
a : to become fixed, resolved, or established <a cold settled in his chest> b : to establish a residence or colony <settled in Wisconsin> —often used with down
4
a : to become quiet or orderly b : to take up an ordered or stable life —often used with down <marry and settle down>
How many people settle for the wrong mate, the wrong career, don’t pursue their dreams, settle for C’s rather than push for A’s from their children, and become comfortable in our right now. Look at part 2 of the definition:
to sink gradually or to the bottom b : to become clear by the deposit of sediment or scum c : to become compact by sinking.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want my dreams, my family, or any other part of my life to gradually sink to the bottom out of fear or comfort. I want every area of my life to grow and float to the top.
So here’s the challenge, start our small, pick one area of your life and practice getting out of your comfort zone. Don’t quit your job or leave your husband/wife (lol), but pick one thing and see how it feels to be FREE.
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Controlling your Sight

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Hey Family!

You all know when I read something that inspires me, I have to share it with you all! Last week blogger Amber Rae (one of my faves by the way, check her out at heyamberrae.com) shared this quote in one of her posts, so simple yet so powerful.

“No troubles, only adventures”

There are so many people who are stressed about situations the can’t control, people they can’t control, and a life that is out of control. This statement has become my new mantra, I am determined to face life head on and I am not in the business of trying to change every single situation but to change my thinking about how I handle things and embrace every situation as an opportunity for an adventure. In life ideally we want everything to be simple and easy, but it is adventures that strengthen, build, and teach us valuable life lessons in the long run. If I hadn’t taken some adventures, I wouldn’t be in the space that I am in, and I am sure if you evaluate your life you would say the same thing.

So when life gets a bit crazy, think of it as an adventure. Life is about perception. How I perceive things, determines how I react and at this point in life I can’t give my attention to every situation that comes along, otherwise I will take my focus off of the my true adventure. Want to control your stress? Start controlling your sight and start seeing life’s situations as adventures.

I want it NOW!

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Chasing Kids by

I want to be married NOW!

I want my dream job NOW!

I want a new car NOW!

I want kids NOW!

NOW, NOW, NOW……we don’t necessarily put the words together like this but this is how our inner voice sounds. We sound like Morgan when she wakes me up at 3am some nights screaming “MILK” and I dreadfully sleep walk to the refrigerator and oblige. We live in a world of instant gratification, everything is instant; food, these get rich quick schemes, press here for a free iPad (yeah right), and quickie degree programs. The truth is most of us want things to happen quickly or overnight and this is why most people settle for what is quick and don’t pursue their true passion.

What if when God was creating the earth and everything in it, he said hey, I can do this in three days instead of seven, would everything be as precise? Would there be four seasons or two? Interesting fact: If you are growing an orange tree it takes around three years for the tree to mature and begin to consistently bear fruit and around 27 years to fully mature. It took your mother nine months to nurture and develop a healthy baby that is so wonderfully you!

All I am trying to say is all of those things didn’t happen overnight, they went through a process to turn into something worthwhile. If short-cuts had been taken in any of those instances we wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t enjoy the fruit of others hard work that we enjoy everyday.

I want to encourage you. It may seem like its taking you longer than most to finish school, hang in there you will finish in your own time. People may be putting the pressure on you, why aren’t you married with kids yet? It’s ok, take your time, it is something else you should be doing right now. Why isn’t your business taking off right now, you have been working on that plan for a while now? It’s okay progress is not always linked to a specific time.

It’s ok to slow down, think things through, and don’t allow people or in many cases ourselves to pressure us into NOW.

Have a great day!

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Guest Post: in honour of the fact that life is short

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Happy Friday! As much as I love to share my thoughts with you, when I am inspired by others, I want to share it with you guys also. I have read this post everyday this week and saved it as one of my favorite blog posts to date. This is a simple post, but it made me view each day of my life differently.

This post was written by author Danielle LaPorte, check out her site daniellelaporte.com and you can also follow her on twitter @DanielleLaPorte . Also check out her book in stores titled “The Fire Starter Lessons”.

in honour of the fact that life is short

wear your white shirts. get them pressed.
use your good dishes — everyday.
shave on weekends.

do not wait for special occasions.
do not tuck your best away in the drawers, in the back of the closet, in your heart.
don’t wait for holidays or invitations.

declare that your today is the special occasion.

call instead of emailing. (it feels so good to connect.)
go for coffee.

quit.

renounce your glory days. you’ve told all of those stories more than twice.
focus forward.

wear perfume for yourself. toss your only-wear-around-the-house clothes and let your good clothes graduate to around-the-house status.
intend to feel good all of the time.

write your book.

launch.

make great sex a priority. (this alone will make you more creative and free. on your death-bed, you will think about all the great sex you had this lifetime.)

burn your to-do list.

write poetry. One a day.

make a point to be as encouraging as possible, as much as possible, to everyone possible.

don’t look back.

if you feel like you’re always failing, consider that this is part of being an artist. let it be a divine inclination. keep going.

enter.

leave.

eat real food.

often refuse to be in the presence of people who make you feel repressed, anxious, or pull your frequency down.

do not entertain haters.

send light to the haters.

give it away. you probably don’t need it and someone else does.

turn off the tv.

let it be easy.

burn candles. during the day.

fall in love. with yourself. with the person you’re with. with the persons in your orbit.
because no one is perfect, but you can let the love be perfect for the both of you.
because everyone — everyone — is a doorway to God.
because you can get there from here.

because life is short.