Raising daughters is complicated. There is so much at stake. The seeds you plant as children have direct effects on the woman they will become. During my 7 years of parenting, I’m still learning the difficult lesson of what I call “parenting by personality”. Each of my daughters has two individual personalities and these personalities need individual methods of discipline, tone of voice, and love. Lately I’ve noticed. my oldest daughter, who just turned 7 a few months ago has been seeking attention from me. If I compliment my 4 year old, she asks why didn’t I compliment her, if I lay down on the couch there is a constant battle of who will takeover the 80% or 20% of my small framed body. The other day my daughter yelled out words (I didn’t think I would have to hear until she was a teenager) “You don’t love me, as much as you love…”. I started to get angry and I blurted out “If I didn’t love you I would not…” Then I thought to myself, why am I trying to explain the infinite nature of a mother’s love to a 7 year old!
One of my good friends, Wendy, introduced me to Joel Osteen radio on Sirius XM radio (Channel 128 if you’re interested in checking it out). I spend almost 3 hours a day in the car on my commute to and from work, so a quality mix of music, talk, and inspiration is very valuable to me. As I listened on my way home a message “Seeds of Greatness” started to play. In the message Pastor Joel began to speak on planting seeds of greatness in other people and how this has a direct affect on how far they go, how they feel about themselves, and ultimately drowning out the negative voices within themselves and the negative words spoken over them by others.
That night on my drive home, I began to reflect and it constantly lead me back to love. Most times instead of scolding our children or attempting to correct their behavior, sometimes they just need our reassurance and love. I decided to send her a message on my way home.
This year has been a year of change for my family, but especially our children. They moved away from their family and friends whom they have great relationships with, left the only school they have known and have had to adapt to a totally new environment. So a little crying is ok. The world is a scary and judgmental place even at the age of 7. So as parents it is our job, to plant and water positive seeds in our children to outweigh the negative seeds the world will attempt to plant in them. It’s funny how kids totally operate from instinct…as I planted seeds in her, she turned around and planted positive seeds right back into me. Thanks baby 🙂
As a child its natural to compliment and to build people up, somehow along the way as adults life tends to make us callous and afraid to be vulnerable to other people. Thus, it can be easier to name all of the things about people that we don’t like versus writing a list of what we do like.
Homework assignment: Identify 5 people in your life and practice planting positive seeds in there lives. Tell them what you love about them, share with them future potential, and encouragement. What do you have to lose?
Let me know how it goes! I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment below or send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.