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When people don’t support your dream

when people don't support
Isn’t this what we all want? LOL
downloadOn a more serious note…Believe it or not, I started writing this post in July 2013. I added to it several times but never pursued completing it because I didn’t want to sound as if I was resentful. Earlier this week a conversation between fellow bloggers on a network I’m a part of led to a nudge in my back and awakened these words from my safe place. Most of my posts begin like that, I go back and forth, I’m going to share this, nope not sharing that, and eventually I share and it never fails…someone reaches out to me and says thank you that was for me. So here I am again…if you’ve chosen to follow your dreams, start a business, write a book, go back to school, quit your job, and support is lacking…this is for you. Be Encouraged.
What to do when people don’t support you?
When you make a huge ginormous decision to do something great the first people, you will assume to help or support you would be the people closest to you, your friends and family. Unfortunately, this is not always the case! You send out a mass text, emails, bring it up at family gatherings and the people closest to you still don’t give their support. When this happens it’s easy to think, what is wrong with me, am I really walking in my purpose, and you begin to doubt your gift and decisions.I have a great support system, but even I have friends and family members who have probably never read this blog, commented, liked, or shared one post, and I’m okay with that. I have people who are invested, who read almost every post, comment frequently, call, and send me inspiring text messages and emails. I’ve learned over time, that’s what matters most.
Here are three things you need to do when people don’t support you:
1. Don’t take it personal, It’s not about you!
Unless it’s some true hateration going on, it’s not about you. Your friends and family aren’t necessarily setting out to not support your dream or venture. It could be that they don’t understand what you’re doing and don’t know how to help you. Personally, I think that silence from some people is golden. I would rather have someone not say anything at all than to give me all of the reasons why I shouldn’t do something and show opposition.
2. Support someone else’s dream.
You want support, giving support is the best way to get it in return. Instead using useless energy focusing on what someone else isn’t doing, turn that energy into the fuel you need to push someone else further. Many times we freely tell people what our dreams are, but we fail to inquire about theirs. Simply ask someone “What’s your dream and how can I support you?”
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 3. Be too focused to notice.
Don’t pause for the applause. Your purpose isn’t tied to support, it’s linked to investment. Find a network of people who will support you and invest in your dream, these are the people who will assist you in taking your dream or business to the next level. Don’t allow who you don’t have to, to make you feel like giving up. Stay focused on your goal.
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I saw this quote awhile ago “Friends won’t start supporting you until strangers start celebrating you.” Do you think this is true? Leave me a comment below.
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Hello Again. Welcome to 2015.

Instagram Post-2I’m an 80’s baby and growing up in the 90s, remixes reigned supremee on our radios and the ever so popular single cassette tape I popped into my boom box. Many songs had remixed versions that seemed to go harder than the original versions, so much so that if today I played you a version of certain songs you would look at me side-eyed as if that wasn’t the song you remembered. Who could ever forget the infamous remix of Jodeci’s “Come and talk to me“, Destiny’s Child “No No No Part 2”, or Brandy’s “I want to be down ” remix featuring Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, and YoYo.
Have you ever seen a vintage home originally built in the 1800’s or early 1900’s completely revitalized with modern touches and it’s original detail giving it the essence of a completely new home?Beautiful right? Diddy thought he invented the remix, but I beg to differ. As I began to pray, plan and strategize for 2015 I began to throw out words I needed to model my year after. As you know in 2014 my word for the year was Jump (if you have not read it you can click here and here to be brought up to speed). As I began to throw out ideas words like revitalize, repurpose, refocus, and readjust kept coming up. Then the word Again came up. I repeated Hello Again.
I write stuff down, that’s what I do. Sometimes I write in a Moleskine notebook, other times really small on post-it notes, and most of the time in Evernote. As I glanced through these notes, I realized that year after year I came up with new ideas, new business plans, new to-dos, but eventually moved on to newer shinier ideas. So what happened to those ideas i never worked on do they just sit in my notebook like a trophy on a mantle as to say look what i thought of or do I take them and breathe life into them again. Now I’m not saying every idea or thought needs to be resurrected, just the ones that mirror my purpose, where I currently am, or where I’m looking to go in the future.
I found my purpose in Again, so I’m just crazy enough to think that maybe God hid some other treasures in thoughts, ideas, and visions he previously gave me. God doesn’t only give us new things, but his specialty is making all things new! 2015 will be my year of Again! Hello Again.
Jump again.
 Begin again.
 Born again.
Dream again.
Laugh again.
Love again.
Start again.
Succeed again.
 Start over again.
Write again.
Breathe again.
Create again.
 Live again.
 Try again.
Revisit again.
Find purpose again.
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I saw this meme on social media a few times over the past week and it is so fitting to this post. There is something in each one of our lives we need to revisit or pursue again. That might be the one thing that introduces you to your purpose.
What are some areas in your life you need to say Hello Again to? Leave me a comment below!
P.S., Please, please (don’t make me beg) take my survey as I look to enhance in 2015! It’s only open for a few more days! Click here to take my 2015 Reader Survey.
Be encouraged! Happy New Year! #HelloAgain2015
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Jump Series: 2014, The Year I Jumped (Part Two)

JUMP SERIES
(Click here to read Part One of the Jump Series)
In almost every language imaginable, the word quit is seen as a negative connotation. It means you gave up, said forget it, or even to some shows a sign of mental weakness, but not so. In many cases, quitting is a sign of strength, obedience, and necessity for many.
In my culture you find a job, you work, and if they will have you…you retire. You don’t quit. Who leaves comfort for uncertainty and familiarity for the unknown…. I did.
From early on in my childhood I can vividly remember knowing where I wanted to be, but wasn’t too sure about the middle part. Have you ever had the perfect sleeping situation set up? You had the perfect pillows, the mattress was comfy, your blanket was nice and soft…but you couldn’t sleep. I’ve had many moments like that in my life…the setup was perfect…but I could never clearly get comfortable in the middle to get to my ideal end.
 JUMP SERIES QUOTE
 In high school I was a below average student, I was accepted into college through a program who gave students with below average grades and low test scores a “chance”. I took this chance and throughout my college tenure I received several dean list awards and graduated with honors. In college, I immediately declared my major in Marketing, I had always been fascinated with advertising and how it was connected to various brands, but soon changed my major because I felt like the business program was too difficult and I became distracted and decided to take a different route.
The day after my college graduation, I interviewed for an Admissions Advisor position at an online University through a staffing agency. After the interview I received a call back from the office manager stating they didn’t choose me for the position, but would like to hire me for a different position within the agency itself. I worked there for almost 3 years, and I was fired. I was devastated, I remember crying thinking who would fire me?? I later realized God was trying to take me somewhere else, but I couldn’t get there unless I let some things go. That summer after I was fired, I looked for job after job, had interview after interview and nothing. I decided to make the most of my time and signed up at my church to volunteer. A volunteer opportunity turned into a temporary opportunity that turned into a full-time position. I couldn’t deny that God had a plan for me, but I just wasn’t quite sure what that plan was. Throughout those years I learned so much and was exposed to a wealth of opportunities and resources. One day I had the opportunity to sit in a branding workshop and a light bulb went off in my head and in my heart. It was as if I was reunited with my natural instinct. I had been reunited with a passion I had totally buried with life and forgotten about. My middle was finally clear! Part of me felt revived and ignited, but another part of me felt like a complete idiot for wasting so much energy focusing my career in directions I wasn’t meant to go in.
Proverbs 3:5 (NKJ)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
My life has been filled with these different moments and many different paths…paths I didn’t choose for myself, but ordered by God. I prayed, fasted, and seriously sought God’s plan for my next path and when he brought it to me, there was no way I could step back from the edge. Many times on your way to your next level you will have to separate from something and an old part of you has to die. For me it wasn’t just a job, it was a family. To leave was one of the hardest decisions I think I’ve ever had to make, but I had to be true to myself and open to where God wanted to take my family and I.
One night during dinner, my seven-year old said grace at our table, and after grace she asked if she could add something. She continued, “Thank you God for this beautiful house, thank you for Mommy’s new job, and thank you that she is following her dream that she dreamed of since she was a little girl. Amen.” That’s why I quit.
I hope this post inspires you to jump and to step out on faith in some areas in your life, and to also revisit areas you may have forgotten about. My word for 2015 is Again. I believe God is going to use us in some areas we have forgotten about or that have become buried by life. Many times it’s easier to come up with something new rather than to finish what we started.
Leave me a comment, what have you started in 2014 or previous years that you need to finish in 2015? What’s your word or phrase for 2015? 
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Jump Series: Take a dive (Part One)

2014-10-14 13.03.22Take a dive (verb): Taking a dive refers to purposefully losing a competition for personal gain (urban dictionary)

New Years Resolutions are a trip. You set them. You break them. You start over , look up and it’s December all over again. Jump. Jump was not a resolution at all, but one word. One word I would use to set the standard of my year. One word to push myself when I was fearful.

 

 

Jump further.
Jump higher.
Jump faster.
Jump when you’re tired.
Jump when you’re sore.
Whatever you do…don’t stop Jumping.

This is not a factious account of something I witnessed, but my personal account of what it means to jump into the sea of my fears, eyes filled with tears, anticipating the rush of water into my face as if this was my last adventure only to realize that I’m only getting started. Jump.

2014 has been a eye-opening year, I moved with my family to a new state, started a new job, and embraced a new reality with the people I love. Did I foresee this on December 31, 2013 when I boldly declared in January I was going to Jump? No! It’s funny how our plans are not our on plans and until this very day, I’m still in awe. In life there are decisions we have to make but the first decision is not putting limitations on our lives. We have to allow God to take us where his car drives us and be open to his direction. I took a dive. Was I in competition with someone? Not at all. I was in competition with myself. Competing to be the best version of myself. Competing to be an example to my daughters and to show them what sacrifice and faith looks like. With my eyes open wide…I jumped.

Stayed tuned for part two.

There are 65 days left in 2014. What areas in your life are you going to jump in? Leave me a comment!

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How not to kill your child’s dream. What I Learned from The Gabby Douglas Story.

HOWNOTTOKILLYOURDREAM
**Spoiler alert** the post below contains information regarding the Gabby Douglas Story. I understand if you prefer to watch the movie before you read this post, but please come back and read it! Thanks 🙂
This past weekend I watched The Gabby Douglas story on The Lifetime network. It was a great depiction of Gabby and also gave us an inside look into her family life and the sacrifices that were made in order for her to get to the point of winning a gold medal in the 2012 Olympics in London. I would recommend this movie as a great one to watch with your family and especially young girls. It shows them sacrifice, handwork, how to be champion, and to never give up on their dreams.
I have to commend Gabby’s mom Natalie, without her sacrifice, selflessness, and her willingness to push her children to follow their dreams Gabby wouldn’t be the champion she is today. She is a great example of a parent not willing to kill their child’s dream even though it might not be the dream she envisioned for them or uncomfortable.
At one point in the movie Natalie (portrayed by actress Regina King) became angry when an excited Gabby came home and stated she wanted to be trained by Olympic Trainer Liang Chow which meant she would have to move to Iowa to train for the Olympics and be away from her family for two years. She had no family in Iowa and limited money and resources. In a conversation with her Mother, Natalie asked God why her daughter? Why was she blessed with this amazing gift and  dreams as big as the sky? Her mother then reminded her that she too had dreams at one point in her life to be a great lawyer, and once she began having children and the trials of life detoured her dream. Natalie’s mother then stated this powerful and oh so true quote.
“It’s nothing worse for a mother to see their child’s dream go unanswered.”
This movie was a great example of how to support and push your children to follow their dreams and as parents we have to do our part even though it might be tough at times to not kill the dream because our own limitations.
Here are my thoughts on how not to kill your child’s dream.
1. Cultivate the dream. At a young age Gabby was doing one-handed cartwheels, flipping, and tearing up her mother’s house! Her mother saw something special in her gymnastic skills before she had her first class. Once she realized this, she enrolled her into gymnastics classes and began cultivating her dream. What classes or workshops should your child no matter what age be taking to cultivate a gift you already recognize in them?
2. Exposure. I feel like it’s a parent’s duty to expose their children to what’s right and also to new areas of success. Many parents think their child’s only successful if they are a teacher, doctor, or lawyer, but success can be found in many different careers. It is up to us to make sure our children know all of their options.
3. Know they will face opposition. Opposition comes along with the dream. There will be peers who will find negative things to say about your child and family members who don’t agree or support the investment you’re making into your child’s future. While in gymnastics training many times Gabby was the only African-American girl, she was teased about her nose, hair, and height, but her mother had instilled into her at a young age to trust in what she knew about herself and not to listen to the criticism of others.
4. Your child’s dream could hurt. In the movie, Natalie continuously made hard sacrifices for Gabby to be in the best gymnastic classes which included traveling, uniform costs, and time away from school, but one of the hardest things for Gabby’s mom to do was to let her move to Iowa for two years to train. She didn’t know anyone there or have the means to support her, but she had to trust and believe this was the plan for her life and to do what she could to support them.
5. She didn’t let her quit. As driven as Gabby was she had a moment when she wanted to quit, she told her mother “Gymnastics is not my passion anymore”. Many time as parents we can allow our kids to quit too easily. If things become a little too difficult or problems arise, we give in to their sad faces and say that’s ok, you can stop. NO! If Natalie allowed Gabby to quit and come back home before the Olympics, her future would’ve been much different as it is today.
Want to quit, consider this.
Quitting is harder than trying.
Quitting is not an option.
Quitting affects not only you, but also your family and everyone who made sacrifices for you.
 Gabby stated she wanted to just be normal. How many times has an exceptional child said this to a parent? Her mother poured right back into her. “You weren’t made to be normal, everything you’ve done in your life has been exceptional. Why settle now? “
 6. Give encouragement. Regardless of the stage of dream your child is in, they need our encouragement. They need to know they can do it, they were made to be exceptional and above average, it’s ok to experience loss, and most of all they need to be encouraged to have fun and enjoy every moment.
7. Teach your child to speak things into existence. Another part of the movie that really stuck out to me is their family motto, “Today should always be better than yesterday”. They lived and formed their lives around this statement, even though things got really tough at times, they always knew that a new day was a new opportunity. What’s your family motto, quote, or scripture? What can you teach your child that will stick with them throughout their lives?
The real Gabrielle Douglas in the beginning of the movie stated this statement and I feel like this is key for anyone who wants to be a champion in any arena in his or her lives child or adults. Read it, print it out, post it, and let your child read it, or read it to them.
“You want to know how to become a champion? It’s easy. Turn your dream into your goal, plant it deep in your heart and then for the next ten years eat, sleep, breathe, laugh and cry without ever taking your eye off your goal not even for a second. You want to know how to stop becoming a champion? I actually tried that once. Believe it or not that was a lot harder. “–Gabrielle Douglas
Don’t let your fear as a parent, put fear into your child. Be their biggest cheerleader whether they are age 5 or 45. Their success depends on it.
Be encouraged.
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Don’t limit your exposure.

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What is a Spark?

 A spark is your passion, something that excites or ignites you. A person’s spark can be a quality, career, or talent. Some people have the ability to find their spark early in life. For example, many singers when asked knew they wanted to be professional singers very early in life, and worked hard to perfect their craft for many years.

 My Spark

 Every Halloween for three years I wanted to be a doctor, when I was in high school I wanted to open a daycare center, as a freshman in college I started out as a Marketing major, and I ended my undergraduate career with a degree in Textiles, Apparel, and Merchandising.

 One day I sat in a development meeting at work listening to a couple of guys discuss the type of work they did and suddenly I felt my spark. I was suddenly ignited with passion to pursue something I hadn’t thought about in years. I went around and around to end up right back to my original passion, which was marketing! I went back to school and received my MBA with a Marketing concentration…. Whew! If it wasn’t for exposure I might have missed it all together or delayed my passion even longer.

 For many of us such as myself our spark has to come through exposure. 

 “It is only when the mind and imagination are enriched from exposure to the world of beauty, that artistic creativity and inspiration truly becomes manifest.”

― Mark Woollacott

 Your Spark 

 To find your spark you have to expose the wire.

What’s your wire?

What would cause your life to spark if you exposed it?

Is there something inside of you in which you have forgotten about that could change your life?

 I realized that most people are underexposed. We tend to get into our circles and we stay right they’re nervous to branch out into the unknown.

I want to challenge you this week.

 The Challenge

 1. Follow 5 new people on Twitter that have interests similar to yours outside of your comfort zone or like 5 new pages on Facebook.

 2. Find one new musical artist outside of your normal genre to listen to.

 3. Read, Read, Read articles, blogs, newspapers, magazines etc.

 4. Sign up to attend a local conference or networking event.

 This is also a perfect time to assist our children in finding their sparks. Expose your child to multiple experiences and opportunities to widen their view.

How will you enhance your exposure and find your spark? If you’ve already found your spark, how did you do it? Leave me a comment below, I want to hear from you.

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5 ways being a parent taught me to be a leader

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Family Matter’s is one of my favorite sitcoms from the 90s. The main character Steve Urkel filled the show with his unhelpful accidents, irritating snorts, and his famous “Did I do that?” The show also highlighted the Winslow family, who much like the Huxtable’s portrayed positive family values. In one episode, the mother Harriet went on a job interview and the interviewer asked her if she had supervisory experience and her response was yes, I have three children and a husband, I manage a household and it’s expenses, I cook meals, and manage several schedules! I am a leader!

Do you know you are leader? Yes, you…if you are a parent, can run a household, teach life lessons, mediate sibling rivalry, and still have something to smile about! You are a leader!

DISCLAIMER: I am not endorsing these thoughts to be used in an interview setting. These are merely my thoughts on how being a parent taught me to be a leader.

1. Know the who.

If you treat your 8-year-old like a 3-year-old it will blow up in your face like a bad science experiment. Know whom you are dealing with even adults.

2. BYOE (Bring your own energy)

Don’t let a screaming child or a difficult adult steal your energy or your joy for that matter. Bring your positive energy home and to work.

3. Manage the good.

See the good in people; it’s easy to focus on the bad parts. Write down 5 things you notice and admire about your children and your co-workers/employees.

4. Know who’s in charge.

Just as children need to be molded, corrected, and many times reeled back in, so do team members and employees. If you are in a position of leadership, use maturity and wisdom to communicate expectations.

5. Overnight Celebrity.

Embrace the process; don’t be discouraged if progress doesn’t happen overnight. Just as it takes 9 months to have a baby, it takes years to raise a child, and it also takes time to become a great and a respected leader.

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“F” it All!

Have you ever known way too much and knowing too much got in the way of moving forward?

Sometimes knowing all the risks can make you fearful and ultimately hold you hostage from getting “it” done.

When you know too much it can hold you back from moving forward, therefore you make no decisions at all. Knowing too much can rob you of fresh perspective, a new outlook, and sensible thinking.

If you knew everything about planes you might not fly. If I knew everything about food, it would probably be only a few things I would eat. If I knew the outcome of every situation I might box myself in.

so with that said, “F” IT ALL, that’s right I said it! For-get-it-all!

Forget it all.

Forget what you know.

Move on.

Move forward.

Start fresh.

Go back and work on the business plan you researched so much you talked yourself out of it. Give that relationship a second chance; it’s not too late. How many times will we talk ourselves out of our future, by going with what we think we know? Punch fear in the face and “F” it all!

“You can only be afraid of what you think you know.”
― Jiddu Krishnamu

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What would happen if you say no to fear?

You might actually live the life you dream of.
You might inspire someone else.
You might get out of that cubicle.
You might actually fall in love.
You might actually be truly happy, joyful, and peaceful.
You might actually climb out of the box.
You might change the lives of others.
You might find your dream job.
You might adopt.
You might get married.
You might plan for the future.
You might give.
You might work really hard.
You might chase your dreams.

Removing fear isn’t a guarantee that life will be easy, but removing fear is a guarantee that you won’t stay where you are.

How many times have I let fear stop me? Fear is meant to make you feel all alone as if no one else understands you. Boy is that wrong! I understand what it feels like to be paralyzed by fear and I realized that it is far better to be scared and move forward than to be scared and remain stagnant.

Which will you choose?

L.T.