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When people don’t support your dream

when people don't support
Isn’t this what we all want? LOL
downloadOn a more serious note…Believe it or not, I started writing this post in July 2013. I added to it several times but never pursued completing it because I didn’t want to sound as if I was resentful. Earlier this week a conversation between fellow bloggers on a network I’m a part of led to a nudge in my back and awakened these words from my safe place. Most of my posts begin like that, I go back and forth, I’m going to share this, nope not sharing that, and eventually I share and it never fails…someone reaches out to me and says thank you that was for me. So here I am again…if you’ve chosen to follow your dreams, start a business, write a book, go back to school, quit your job, and support is lacking…this is for you. Be Encouraged.
What to do when people don’t support you?
When you make a huge ginormous decision to do something great the first people, you will assume to help or support you would be the people closest to you, your friends and family. Unfortunately, this is not always the case! You send out a mass text, emails, bring it up at family gatherings and the people closest to you still don’t give their support. When this happens it’s easy to think, what is wrong with me, am I really walking in my purpose, and you begin to doubt your gift and decisions.I have a great support system, but even I have friends and family members who have probably never read this blog, commented, liked, or shared one post, and I’m okay with that. I have people who are invested, who read almost every post, comment frequently, call, and send me inspiring text messages and emails. I’ve learned over time, that’s what matters most.
Here are three things you need to do when people don’t support you:
1. Don’t take it personal, It’s not about you!
Unless it’s some true hateration going on, it’s not about you. Your friends and family aren’t necessarily setting out to not support your dream or venture. It could be that they don’t understand what you’re doing and don’t know how to help you. Personally, I think that silence from some people is golden. I would rather have someone not say anything at all than to give me all of the reasons why I shouldn’t do something and show opposition.
2. Support someone else’s dream.
You want support, giving support is the best way to get it in return. Instead using useless energy focusing on what someone else isn’t doing, turn that energy into the fuel you need to push someone else further. Many times we freely tell people what our dreams are, but we fail to inquire about theirs. Simply ask someone “What’s your dream and how can I support you?”
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 3. Be too focused to notice.
Don’t pause for the applause. Your purpose isn’t tied to support, it’s linked to investment. Find a network of people who will support you and invest in your dream, these are the people who will assist you in taking your dream or business to the next level. Don’t allow who you don’t have to, to make you feel like giving up. Stay focused on your goal.
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I saw this quote awhile ago “Friends won’t start supporting you until strangers start celebrating you.” Do you think this is true? Leave me a comment below.
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What goes in eventually comes out

What goes in eventually comes out! Literally and Figuratively! LOL

 As parents we do our best to teach our children what’s right and we only hope that one-day what we teach them they will exhibit or do on their own. Being a parent is what’s called a “Thankless Job” you do it day after day without a raise, reward, pat on the back, and even sometimes a thank you. Our greatest reward as a parent is to have raised a responsible, grateful, and respectful adult.
In our household we are not super religious, were not always praying aloud, holding hands, gospel music is not the only type of music we listen to, but we are raising our children to love God and one another, to pray, and to be grateful for everything they have. Last week the girls we’re playing in their room and writing. My youngest was giving my oldest names of family members to write and she took dictation, as a big sister should. My oldest that is six then asked “Can I write a letter to God?” I said “Sure!” She ran off to her room and a few minutes later she appeared with this letter to God.
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I listened as she read me the letter and tried not to let my eyes fill up with tear as I said “Good Job Baby!” I thought to myself, what you put into your child, eventually comes out. I hope letter brings you much joy and encourages you to write your own personal letter to God, not only that, but to parents of older children who may have lost their way despite you teaching them the right way. Don’t worry, what you put into your child eventually comes out. Sometimes it’s quick and other times it can take a while, but it will come out.
Be encouraged.
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Tires just don’t roll: A few hours with Bridgestone

This post is sponsored by Bridgestone. All opinions are my own.

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Earlier this month I attended a Bridgestone Tires “Drive and Learn” event at Toyota Park. Normally these events are held for car dealers, but their new initiative to educate moms brought a few of us mom bloggers to learn and also have a little fun too.

As a mother the most important asset is protecting your family and when you purchase a car the first thing you should look for is safety, but who knew your tires had such an impact on enhancing the safety of your car. Yea sure before attending this event I thought I was maintaining my tire safety by putting air when the tires were low and replacing them when needed. I never once considered my car’s performance when buying tires, all I needed to know was that the tires were brand new and in my price range.

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 After a quick lesson in Tires 101 and Car Care we hit the outdoor track, fun right? I was terrified! My ideal track is the route back and forth to my daughter’s school and while running a few minutes late.  We test drove four different Bridgestone tires on the BMW 325s on a wet and slippery track. I never knew 30 mph could feel so fast. Don’t believe me? Check out this video.

Here are a few quick tips I learned:

1. Tire pressure is important! Just because the tire isn’t low doesn’t mean the pressure is correct. Check the label in your door to see the PSI your tire should be at. Also don’t ignore your cars pressure sensor.

2. You get what you pay for in tires. Don’t just buy for price! Buy for comfort and handling also.

3. In the wintertime, don’t wait until there’s snow on the ground to put on your winter tires. Put them on when you start to see your breath outdoors. It’s not about snow, but temperature.

4. Ditch the automatic car washes. Did you know those tracks could damage your tires or break off your tire sensors which can be costly?

5. Good tires can save money on gas. Who could stand a save a few bucks at the tank??

Learn more about tires at tiresafety.com

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The problem with being the perfect parent

photo(1)“Perfect people lead to having perfect kids which make the perfect people perfect parents with a perfect life but in reality it puts plenty of profuse pressure on people.” –LaChaya D. Terry

Who told me I had to be a perfect mother? Sure weren’t my two girls! Did my husband tell me? Nope! Did my mother tell me she was a perfect mother and I should be one too? Nope!

I have come to the realization that I have put unrealistic expectations on my children and myself to be perfect, and it’s pretty stressful. When you start out at perfect what else is there to strive for and how much further up can you go?

1. “You don’t have to be perfect to be “the” perfect parent for your kids.” Parents make mistakes, fly off the handle, lose their patience, forget about a school trip, or lose a favorite toy. Don’t beat yourself up! Start new and fresh, learn from each opportunity, and make the necessary changes.

2. “Perfect can be dangerous.” I want to raise well-rounded children that aren’t afraid to mess up or to fail, but can dust themselves off, get back up, and not be afraid to try again. I’ve witnessed too many adults who never experienced disappointment until adulthood and it rocked them to the core.

3. “Don’t have comparisonitis” Your parenting style might not be the same as your family member, co-worker, or friend. Do what works best for your household and family!

4. “Kids will be kids” They will fight, cry, kick, scream, embarrass you, make you late, sleep in your bed, lose things, forget things, forget to use the potty, make bad decisions, giggle too much in class, like the wrong boy, say they hate you. IT’S ALL RIGHT! Be “their” perfect parent and not “the” perfect parent…love, hug, kiss, and embrace them for who they are, cherish every moment you have. They love you and you love them and it’s all that matters.

Before you know it they will grow up and strive to be perfect people with perfect kids being the perfect parents having the perfect life putting plenty of profuse pressure on them. Don’t pass it on.

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Armpits and Boobies

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Two words most parents don’t like to hear in regards to their daughter:

1. Deodorant

2. Training bras

(There are a few more, but we won’t go into that)

It’s not like those are bad words, but they are indicators that “your baby” is growing up, and if you’re anything like me, you don’t necessarily have a problem with your child getting older, but you do mind them growing up.

I have a lot of friends and family members that are now taking that dreaded trip to the mall to buy their daughter their first training bra. Is it me or does “the change” seem to be happening younger and younger. I am so happy “the real change” for my oldest daughter is at least 6 or 7 years from now (wishful thinking). I have to begin praying for my husband’s acceptance of “the change” right now! A couple of months ago we were in a department store and I was looking through the clearance rack and spotted some $.50 training bras, I joked and said maybe I should buy a few of these because of the deal for when she get’s older. He rapidly shook his head and said, “I don’t want to think about that right now!”

My oldest daughter who is almost 6 is experiencing a different type of change, instead of training bras I went shopping for deodorant. Last summer I started noticing a change, so I started paying extra attention to those areas and using baby powder to stay fresh during the warmer months. Now that the summer is almost here, I realized that powder just wouldn’t do! I ventured to our local Walgreens and purchased Tom’s of Maine natural deodorant for her to try out. I’ll let you know how it goes!

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I want to hear from you! How old did your child start wearing deodorant or need a training bra? How did you cope with “the change”?

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“F” it All!

Have you ever known way too much and knowing too much got in the way of moving forward?

Sometimes knowing all the risks can make you fearful and ultimately hold you hostage from getting “it” done.

When you know too much it can hold you back from moving forward, therefore you make no decisions at all. Knowing too much can rob you of fresh perspective, a new outlook, and sensible thinking.

If you knew everything about planes you might not fly. If I knew everything about food, it would probably be only a few things I would eat. If I knew the outcome of every situation I might box myself in.

so with that said, “F” IT ALL, that’s right I said it! For-get-it-all!

Forget it all.

Forget what you know.

Move on.

Move forward.

Start fresh.

Go back and work on the business plan you researched so much you talked yourself out of it. Give that relationship a second chance; it’s not too late. How many times will we talk ourselves out of our future, by going with what we think we know? Punch fear in the face and “F” it all!

“You can only be afraid of what you think you know.”
― Jiddu Krishnamu

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Monday=Fun Day

Growing up I remember every Saturday we got up earlier then should be allowed on a Saturday and we went to eat breakfast at OHOP (Original House of Pancakes for those who are unfamiliar). No matter how late I went to bed, rain or shine, we were there every single Saturday. It was an unspoken rule in our house that Saturday’s were Family Day. It is moments like those that shaped my life and created so many fun memories with my family, that I will never ever forget.

So a month ago we deemed Monday, “Fun Day” in the Terry Household. We let our oldest daughter pick what fun family activity we will do every Monday and we make it happen! We wanted to have something fun for our kids to look forward to as many summer weekends are usually filled with Weddings, Baby Showers, and BBQ’s, although the kids like to go, it is usually more fun for us than it is for them.

Creating a fun family day doesn’t require a ton of money, but some special time, and lots of love!

Check out these pics from our previous Monday Fun Day’s!

Our first Monday we went bike riding and had a day at the park
Beach day!
Trip to Brookfield Zoo
Water Day at home and water balloon fight
Chuck E. Cheese

It’s ok to take a break: Focusing without neglecting

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Have you seen the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler? In the movie Adam Sandler is a hardworking father and husband and he is given a universal remote control which allows him to fast forward through certain moments in life such as sex, family time, and arguments, so he can get to fulfilling his career goals faster. His intentions of personal growth and creating a better life for his family were good, but in the meantime he was failing at being a husband, father, and friend, and missing out on so many valuable moments.

How many of us are guilty of this? Or know people that do this? They focus so much on their career, dreams, and providing for their family that they forget how to just LIVE. At some point we have to recommit ourselves to our spouses and families, and find some balance.

Here are a few thoughts to reflect on when you get in those busy type of situations:

1. Is what I’m focused on worth my attention?

2. Is my focus important or is it a reason to stay busy?

3. Busyness does not equal productivity.

4. Can I reschedule or hold off on what I’m doing until a later time/day?

5. It’s okay to relax and take a break, everyone including yourself will thank you!

The Road to MBA

Hey y’all! Thank you so much for hanging with me! Life has been sooooo crazy, with the busyness that already accompanies the summer months, Taylor graduating from Pre-K, and finishing up my graduate degree.

This has been a longgggggg road,  three years filled with late nights, long papers, and never-ending threads. In between Morgan was born and life happened. But I’m still here! I am so grateful for all of the love and support that I experienced during this time. As an adult with a family, when you make the decision to go back to school it is not only an adjustment for you, but it is one for your entire household. When I get my degree on Sunday it should read LaChaya, Darrell, Taylor, Morgan, and Bernice because they were just as responsible for my completion of this than I am, I couldn’t have made it without my TEAM.

As I get ready to pull up to graduation on Sunday, my last stop on the Road to MBA; it is really a time of reflection for me. If I could be transparent with you guys…….I am nervous! The pressure is on to use all of this information that I learned, to continue to be productive, not get too relaxed, and not to mention student loans!!!!! As fear begins to sit in…..this feeling is all too familiar, this is the same feeling of uncertainty I felt when I first made the decision to start grad school…what if I fail…….what if the work is too much, and look at me now at the end of another chapter of life. I can’t wait to experience what the next chapter holds as I chase kids and BIG dreams.

Thanks again for your support!