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Matters of the Heart: The Healing Process


These words are my raw unedited thoughts, jotted down on my phone. I hope you are encouraged.

The healing process

mattersoftheheartMany people negate the healing process of the heart. We move on quicker than the word NEXT, never to allow true healing to take place.

Go outside fall and skin your knee. Think about the healing process.

1. Wipe the scrape
2. Apply an antiseptic
3. Put on a bandaid
4. Next day take the band aid off
5. Apply more antiseptic
6. Let the scab develop
7. In a week the scab falls off
8. Once the scab falls off apply some cocoa butter or scar cream to minimize the scar apply as needed

After sometime the scrape is completely healed. You’ve taken care of the wound, minimized the after effects and scaring. Complete healing has taken place.

Why should the healing of the heart be any different? Why should we pay more attention to a scraped knee with multiple steps of healing and ignore the years of damage done to the heart due to physical abuse, heartbreak, death, infidelity, and stress.

What steps do you need to take for your heart to heal? You know if you leave the bandaid on too long, the sore gets infected, it never heals. Take the bandage off of your heart, apply the necessary medicine, let it get some air, and let healing begin.

LaChaya T.

5 ways being a parent taught me to be a leader


Family Matter’s is one of my favorite sitcoms from the 90s. The main character Steve Urkel filled the show with his unhelpful accidents, irritating snorts, and his famous “Did I do that?” The show also highlighted the Winslow family, who much like the Huxtable’s portrayed positive family values. In one episode, the mother Harriet went on a job interview and the interviewer asked her if she had supervisory experience and her response was yes, I have three children and a husband, I manage a household and it’s expenses, I cook meals, and manage several schedules! I am a leader!

Do you know you are leader? Yes, you…if you are a parent, can run a household, teach life lessons, mediate sibling rivalry, and still have something to smile about! You are a leader!

DISCLAIMER: I am not endorsing these thoughts to be used in an interview setting. These are merely my thoughts on how being a parent taught me to be a leader.

1. Know the who.

If you treat your 8-year-old like a 3-year-old it will blow up in your face like a bad science experiment. Know whom you are dealing with even adults.

2. BYOE (Bring your own energy)

Don’t let a screaming child or a difficult adult steal your energy or your joy for that matter. Bring your positive energy home and to work.

3. Manage the good.

See the good in people; it’s easy to focus on the bad parts. Write down 5 things you notice and admire about your children and your co-workers/employees.

4. Know who’s in charge.

Just as children need to be molded, corrected, and many times reeled back in, so do team members and employees. If you are in a position of leadership, use maturity and wisdom to communicate expectations.

5. Overnight Celebrity.

Embrace the process; don’t be discouraged if progress doesn’t happen overnight. Just as it takes 9 months to have a baby, it takes years to raise a child, and it also takes time to become a great and a respected leader.

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Ask who not what

Last week I attended a bible study and we had a discussion around how most people as kids were only asked “What” they wanted to be when they grow up, as if the career or job title are the only method to define us as individuals. As I reflected I never remember being asked personality traits that I wanted to exude as an adult. If asked “What” am I, I could rattle off job titles, responsibilities, etc. etc. but if I was asked “Who” am I, that’s a different story, it would force me to think a little longer to come up with an answer.

So as parents I think it is equally important to have our kids set their sights on their dream job or career, but it’s also helpful to help them define who they are now and who they hope to be in the future. What are some traits that I want my daughters to have as teenagers and adults? I want them to be intelligent, honest, responsible, respectable women with integrity.

The other day my brother was having a conversation with my daughter about what she wanted for her birthday. She told him and he responded by asking her “what if you don’t get it” she responded and said “Well, I will be happy with whatever I get”. I immediately thought, we are doing something right! At 5 years old she already has what some people don’t have at age 25, a true sense of appreciation. It’s not always what you say to your children as much as it is the example that you set for them.

Keep focusing on the who…..

Who has your kids attention?

Happy Monday! I hope you have a great and productive week!

“We do learn and develop when we are exposed to those who are greater than we are. Perhaps this is the chief way we mature.”
Madeleine L’Engle

Many times growing up I heard sayings like, “you are what you eat” and “birds of a feather flock together”. It wasn’t until I became an adult I realized that who you are surrounded by truly has an effect on your determination, drive, and focus. We grow and are inspired by who we associate ourselves with, places we go, what we read or watch on television, and what music we listen to. It’s amazing how those things have the power over how far we strive and even our mood. Have you ever been in a sad or solemn mood and listened to a really sad song, and started feeling worse?

So I ask, who has our kid’s attention? What are they watching? What music are they listening to? Who are they hanging out with? Who is giving them advice?

A report says that teenagers listen to on average 2.5 hours or more of music every day. This means that on a daily basis at a minimum of 2.5 hours a day, kids are listening to sexual references, drug references, and references of negative behavior every single day. This does not include the time spent watching music videos of the same type, movies, facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, myspace, and interacting with FRIENDS. Out of all of this time, how many hours as a parent or mentor are we spending pouring into their daily lives, with all that we have going on.

Let’s be sure as adults that we monitor what our kids are watching and listening to. It is so important even before the critical teenage years, that we are exposing our kids to positive images and positive people that will inspire them to want more and to be more. With all the images in the world, let make sure that the primary influence for kids are positive images of successful adults living their lives purposefully and successfully. Let’s not let Lil Wayne and Drake raise our kids and form their thinking and actions. Let’s show them the right way!