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Thank you for telling me no

Whether you are 5 or 45, hearing no can be disappointing. As hard as some no’s can be, a no can also be a safety net. I have experienced many disappointments in relationships, my career, and through everyday life. Although disappointments can be hard, I can honestly say I am “thankful for the no’s”. 

Years ago, while working at my first job after college at a staffing agency, I experienced my first adult disappointment. This position wasn’t my ideal job, but I was content where I was. After working there for two years, I was let go, and boy was I disappointed. I hadn’t planned on retiring from the company, but I also didn’t plan on leaving so abruptly. I didn’t realize it at first, but that was a great place to insert a “thank you”. If I stayed in that position any longer I would have been off track from the larger plan set for me. Do you know how many passions or gifts were birthed out of disappointment? 

As an adult, here are three things “no” can mean: 

1. Not yet
2. Not for you
3. A safety net to save you from making a wrong move 

Parents hate telling their children no! We all like to see our children happy and satisfied, but unfortunately there are times we have to tell them no. Those reasons could be to protect them or to build character. 

Here are some healthy reasons for telling your child no: 

1. For their safety 
2. For their health 
3. For their behavior 
4. To teach them patience, boundaries, sacrifice, and discipline. 

Could those same reasons to protect or teach a child, be similar experiences to why an adult is told no in various areas of life? As adults let’s try not be like my two-year old and throw a tantrum when we experience being told no through closed doors or disappointment. Realize it’s an opportunity for building character and say “Thank you for telling me no!”


Losing yourself to find yourself

Can you believe there are 83 days left in this year? This year is flying by! The kids have returned back to school, the weather is changing, and I have an entire list of things to complete before this year is out. This week Taylor lost her 1st tooth, exciting right?! I never knew how emotional I would be over a little tooth! When she was around 3 years old and her older cousins were losing their teeth, I remember her crying because she hadn’t lost her teeth yet. Well the other day when her tooth finally fell out, instead of her being as excited as she was 2 years ago, she was kind of disappointed because she missed her baby tooth. We began to explain to her that in order for her to have a newer, bigger tooth, her old tooth had to come out first. Isn’t life sort of the same way? We have to clear out a lot of old things, ways, and mind sets to make way for something bigger and better.

Check out the definition of Find:
verb (used with object)
1. to come upon by chance; meet with
2. to locate, attain, or obtain by search or effort
3. to locate or recover (something lost or misplaced)

A lot of people are constantly trying to find themselves, their purposes, and as we wrap up the year, I wanted to share my thoughts with you on the subject.Have you ever considered that If you want to find yourself, you might have to lose something first.

1. The first step to finding yourself is to first consult God. Pray, fast, read your bible, and start a relationship. How can you know where you are going if you don’t know who God created you to be and the plan to he has for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). Die to self daily and seek direction, the worst thing you can do is to seek to find yourself without God only to find yourself somewhere you were never meant to be in the first place.
2. Know who you are. On the road to finding yourself, it is sooo important not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and being influenced by your surroundings, because you will end up chasing dreams you were never meant to chase and wasting time finding someone else other than yourself. Look into your past, things you are interested in, and your personality, all of these play an important role in your future.

3. Find out what missing or what needs to be lost. As stated in the definition in order to find something you have to first acknowledge that it’s missing or in the case of life,something needs to be lost or removed in order to find yourself. Reading or studying could be missing, a lack of focus could be missing, making time could be missing and the list goes on. You may need to lose certain relationships, friendships, or habits that are holding you back.

4. Make room for your new self. As we told Taylor, when your new bigger tooth grows in, you have to be sure to take care of it and not to eat candy because it has to last you a forever. Same way with your new self, now that you have this new outlook or new purpose, be sure to take care of it, do what’s necessary to maintain and not to fall back into old habits or routines.

To laugh often and much; …

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

(People say were living on the dash, what will you do with yours? Who are you inspiring, helping, leading, mentoring, saving, leading to Christ, calling, sacrificing for, helping up, guiding, making smile, affecting, motivating, sparking, touching, loving, parenting, impressing, infusing, provoking, swaying, influencing, rising, informing, stirring up, evolving, teaching, You get my drift!) -LaChaya Terry (inspired to inspire)

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