Tag Archives: Motivation

Losing yourself to find yourself

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Can you believe there are 83 days left in this year? This year is flying by! The kids have returned back to school, the weather is changing, and I have an entire list of things to complete before this year is out. This week Taylor lost her 1st tooth, exciting right?! I never knew how emotional I would be over a little tooth! When she was around 3 years old and her older cousins were losing their teeth, I remember her crying because she hadn’t lost her teeth yet. Well the other day when her tooth finally fell out, instead of her being as excited as she was 2 years ago, she was kind of disappointed because she missed her baby tooth. We began to explain to her that in order for her to have a newer, bigger tooth, her old tooth had to come out first. Isn’t life sort of the same way? We have to clear out a lot of old things, ways, and mind sets to make way for something bigger and better.

Check out the definition of Find:
verb (used with object)
1. to come upon by chance; meet with
2. to locate, attain, or obtain by search or effort
3. to locate or recover (something lost or misplaced)

A lot of people are constantly trying to find themselves, their purposes, and as we wrap up the year, I wanted to share my thoughts with you on the subject.Have you ever considered that If you want to find yourself, you might have to lose something first.

1. The first step to finding yourself is to first consult God. Pray, fast, read your bible, and start a relationship. How can you know where you are going if you don’t know who God created you to be and the plan to he has for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). Die to self daily and seek direction, the worst thing you can do is to seek to find yourself without God only to find yourself somewhere you were never meant to be in the first place.
2. Know who you are. On the road to finding yourself, it is sooo important not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and being influenced by your surroundings, because you will end up chasing dreams you were never meant to chase and wasting time finding someone else other than yourself. Look into your past, things you are interested in, and your personality, all of these play an important role in your future.

3. Find out what missing or what needs to be lost. As stated in the definition in order to find something you have to first acknowledge that it’s missing or in the case of life,something needs to be lost or removed in order to find yourself. Reading or studying could be missing, a lack of focus could be missing, making time could be missing and the list goes on. You may need to lose certain relationships, friendships, or habits that are holding you back.

4. Make room for your new self. As we told Taylor, when your new bigger tooth grows in, you have to be sure to take care of it and not to eat candy because it has to last you a forever. Same way with your new self, now that you have this new outlook or new purpose, be sure to take care of it, do what’s necessary to maintain and not to fall back into old habits or routines.

What did we do before social media?

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Haute Topic by

(Image courtesy of Gal Appelbaum)

What did we do before social media? WE LIVED!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love social media! It keeps me connected to YOU, my friends and family. It can be a great to connect or form new business relationships. It can be inspirational, silly, or a down right distraction!

Tweet this–post that–blog about that. Picture for instagram–check in on four square– take a picture of my plate (this food looks great)–That’s cute, Put that on YouTube! That’s a good quote or scripture, let me post it.

At what point do we stop being so busy documenting life and watching the lives of others and just start living it.

The other day my husband and I went to the Mary J. Blige concert (it was awesome by the way), and a girl young lady was sitting in front of us was on her phone 90% of the time on instagram liking pics from the concert that she was attending instead of enjoying the moment.

For some people living has been replaced with social media. We don’t do things anymore for the pure enjoyment of the moment anymore, everything is about sharing. When we get a new car instead of enjoying it and driving it when we leave the dealership, we go home and take pictures to upload to social media or instead of having a real relationship with God we post scriptures and text grams of the word instead of really studying. Life is to be lived and we spend most of it talking, being social, talking about our dreams instead of working on them. Social media was created for being social but not to replace living or for validation. At the end of the day when I leave here I want a legacy to be left, what did I do while I was here, who did I help, what impact did I leave? We only got one life to live so don’t spend watching life go by.

I have definitely been guilty of this, hope this helps you as well.

Get out of my way!

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Get out of my way!!!! Sorry…..I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to myself.

“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.”
Denis Waitley

As I get older, I really begin to realize that the only person that can stop me from being successful or completing things that I am working on is……ME. How many great ideas has God given me? How many opportunities have I passed up, because I didn’t speak up? How many opportunities have I missed out on. The answer is A LOT! Fear is a crazy thing, we will pray about stuff and ask God to move and when he gives us the green light, fear steps in and stops us. As the quote states, your decisions cause your rewards and consequences, and I want to stop talking about chasing my dreams and ideas, and actually move to the place of action and eventually completion.

I have to stand up and make the choice to stop playing defense with myself, and allow myself to get to the hoop and score. I have the tools I need, I have the help, the only thing is missing is for me to get out of my own way and sit down and watch God work. I think for many people it is a fear of being successful, all the “what if” questions that we plague ourselves with. For others, it could be complacency, we stop reaching for more and become comfortable right where we are.

Here are a few tips for getting out of your own way:

1. Pray about it. Give everything that you fear to God. Pray that he leads you in the right direction and don’t be afraid to move when he gives it to you.

2. Stop thinking about the “what if’s”. Thinking about them never got anyone that has a successful track record anywhere.

3. Find an accountability partner. Link up with someone that you don’t mind sharing your goals and struggles with and have them hold you accountable.

4. As Nike says, “Just do it”

What is it that is in your way? Whatever it is choose today, to get out of the way.

Major League Moms #2

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Last week, in our Black History Month series Major League Moms we looked into the life of Marian Wright Edelman the Founder and President of the Children’s Defense Fund and the first black women admitted into the Mississippi State Bar. This week our Major League Mom is Cathy Hughes the founder and owner of Radio One, the largest black-owned radio chain in the nation, which has over 70 radio stations and owner of the TV One television network.

Cathy Hughes began working in radio in 1969 for KOWH which lead to a job offer from Howard University where she was a Lecturer and Assistant to the Dean of Communications; eventually she became the manager of Howard University’s Radio Station. In 1979, Cathy and her husband attempted to start their own radio station but was declined by 32 banks, finally a loan was granted and they purchased a small radio station in D.C. (don’t tell me that’s not determination!). She was determined to have a talk-show formatted radio show on her station, but the bank wanted her to host an R&B music station. After much determination, she compromised with the bank to allow her to have a talk-show during the morning hours and played music during the day. After the start of the station, she and her husband divorced leaving her as a single mother to her son. Following some financial hardships with the station and buying her husband’s shares of the station, Cathy was forced to sell her home and to live in the station with her son. As a result of her hard work and determination she experienced success through her talk show platform and is the mogul that we see today as the first women-owned station to rank # 1 in any market and her success through her TV One television network along with her son Alfred.

We can all learn from Ms. Hughes’ tenacity and her willingness to fight to see her dreams manifested. She is truly a “Major League Mom”

Her favorite quote is: “It is not enough for you to do your very best. You must do what is required of the situation.”

Don’t get distracted!

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Uncategorized by

At the end December and the beginning of January everyone is buzzing about their plans to be better in 2012 and around the 3rd week of January many people start to lose momentum and get distracted from the goals they set in the beginning of the year. How do I know? Because I am guilty of it! The pressure is on to do all of these things that I wrote down that I would accomplish this year and guess what! It’s not easy! So here is our wake up call!

Don’t get distracted from the goals you set in the beginning of this month, don’t let your dreams and your list fizzle out by February,  wake them up and let’s get to work.I have realized that in order to be successful this year, you have to make up in your mind that you are going to be successful on purpose and intentionally set out to finish. It is easy to start, but it is hard to finish something. So this week sit down and look at your list again or if you don’t keep a list, start one and think about all that you want to accomplish this year and break those goals down into smaller more attainable goals that are more realistic. This way you won’t feel overwhelmed and end up quitting them before you even get started.

Don’t be distracted by anything or anyone, get focused on the ultimate goal and start checking those items off of your list. Being successful is a choice, it just doesn’t happen on accident or by chance. You have already made up in your mind that you want it, now let’s go get it!!!!!!!

What are some of your goals for 2012? Thoughts? Leave me a comment

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Does having kids kill your chance for a successful career?

Posted in Chasing Big Dreams, Chasing Kids by

Ever since Beyoncé announced her pregnancy in August at the VMA award’s the streets have been buzzing about whether having a baby would ruin her career. (on a side note) Congrats to Bey and Jay on their new baby girl Blue Ivy Carter born yesterday. This comment not only came from men but mainly women expressing disinterest in having kids or others having kids because their career would suffer. Being a working mother of two, I have to admit that it’s not easy working, going to school, and having kids….but it’s life for me. In my mind I can be only as successful as I allow myself to be. My question is why do many people have this misconception about having kids and careers? It’s not as if we haven’t seen healthy images of working women throughout our lifetime. Did you know that in 2010 61% of moms or moms-to-be were in the workforce and women owned 29% of all businesses in the U.S.? I just believe that women should be able to work, stay at home, run five businesses, run marathons, sing, help with homework, run for political office, preach, change diapers, write books, blog, model, rap, back flips, swim, teach, or whatever else they choose to do and be great mothers.

In the words of Sister Beyoncé…..

Who run the world? Girls

This goes out to all the women getting it in,
Get on your grind
To the other men that respect what I do
Please accept my shine

Boy you know you love it
How we’re smart enough to make these millions
Strong enough to bear the children
Then get back to business

What do you think? Does having kids kill your chance for a successful career?

To laugh often and much; …

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

(People say were living on the dash, what will you do with yours? Who are you inspiring, helping, leading, mentoring, saving, leading to Christ, calling, sacrificing for, helping up, guiding, making smile, affecting, motivating, sparking, touching, loving, parenting, impressing, infusing, provoking, swaying, influencing, rising, informing, stirring up, evolving, teaching, You get my drift!) -LaChaya Terry (inspired to inspire)

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A great call to action

If this doesn’t motivate you. Check your pulse. 

“Don’t exist. 
Live. 
Get out, explore. 
Thrive. 
Challenge authority. Challenge yourself. 
Evolve. 
Change forever. 
Become who you say you always will. Keep moving. Don’t stop. Start the revolution. Become a freedom fighter. Become a superhero. Just because everyone doesn’t know your name doesn’t mean you dont matter. 
Are you happy? Have you ever been happy? What have you done today to matter? Did you exist or did you live? How did you thrive? 
Become a chameleon-fit in anywhere. Be a rockstar-stand out everywhere. Do nothing, do everything. Forget everything, remember everyone. Care, don’t just pretend to. Listen to everyone. Love everyone and nothing at the same time. Its impossible to be everything,but you can’t stop trying to do it all. 
All I know is that I have no idea where I am right now. I feel like I am in training for something, making progress with every step I take. I fear standing still. It is my greatest weakness. 
I talk big, but often don’t follow through. That’s my biggest problem. I don’t even know what to think right now. It’s about time I start to take a jump. Forget starting to take. Just jump-over everything. Leap. 
It’s time to be aggressive. You’ve started to speak your mind, now keep going with it, but not with the intention of sparking controversy or picking a germane fight. Get your gloves on, it’s time for rebirth. There IS no room for the nice guys in the history books. 
THIS IS THE START OF A REVOLUTION. THE REVOLUTION IS YOUR LIFE. THE GOAL IS IMMORTALITY. LET’S LIVE, BABY. LET’S FEEL ALIVE AT ALL TIMES. TAKE NO PRISONERS. HOLD NO SOUL UNACCOUNTABLE, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR OWN. IF SOMETHING DOESN’T HAPPEN, IT’S YOUR FAULT. 
Make this moment your reckoning. Your head has been held under water for too long and now it is time to rise up and take your first true breath. 
Do everything with exact calculation, nothing without meaning. Do not make careful your words, but make no excuses for what you say.  Set a goal for everyday and never be tired.” 
― Brian Krans, A Constant Suicide